Kurama's Guide to Seducing Your Demon Friend
by Shai ni Cockroach
Summary: Learn the secrets of seduction with this step-by-step guide on how to catch that elusive little fire demon! You'll have him bound in vines of pleasure faster than he could say, "Ch!" What are you waiting for? Grab a copy now!
1. Foreword

**FOREWORD**

...

…

… It's pretty ****ing obvious I don't want nothing to do with this goddamn book… but I guess there ain't no harm putting in some of my thoughts here. I, after all, am a ****ing _testament_ to the author's ability. So… yeah.

**He's a ****ing expert.**

Seduction? That right there is Kurama's middle name. I done stopped counting the times he's shown me that his techniques ain't something to mess with. Once you're in his web of temptation, there ain't no ****ing way you'll escape, that's for goddamn sure. If he's sharing half of what he knows about seducing in this book, then there is no ****ing way in hell you ain't getting _your_ demon, **guaranteed**.

Tell you a little something about this whole seduction issue, though. Least in my and his case, Kurama made one big mistake and y'all might want to write this down:

He ****ing wasted precious time planning all this shit when he coulda' just jumped me and got the whole thing over with… I wouldn't have minded.

Che.

* * *

><p>~Hiei, as dictated to Kurama, 2011<br>Kurama's Bedroom, Japan


	2. Introduction

**INTRODUCTION**

It starts like a jolt. One minute you're there sitting at your desk thinking about the beautiful weather outside and contemplating whether to go for a walk or a run later; next thing you know you're wondering when he'll drop by through the window, quietly making his presence known first and almost immediately letting himself in without so much as a by-your-leave. Ah, well. He always does seem to know when he's welcome or not, and this strange familiarity between the two of you is both comforting and puzzling; it hasn't been all that long since the two of you first met and yet—

Suddenly you feel it. A brief surge of _ki _comingfrom outside and there he is. _Again_, you're left dumbfounded. How could this be a coincidence? You were just thinking of him, and _voila! _he's right there? Does that third eye of his read minds as well?

And it hits you. Like a boulder over the head. _Bam. _It isn't coincidence. It's not ESP. It sure as heck ain't magic. He appears whenever you think of him because you _always _think of him.

And after that epiphany… everything pretty much goes downhill.

There's no more peace of mind. All the lovely idle musings about the weather are forgotten and the only concern ringing in your mind at this point is _what the hell are you supposed to do about __**this**__ now? _ You shudder to define what _this _could possibly be, but you know exactly what _it _is. You are more scared and more confused than you have ever been in your entire life and nothing makes sense anymore. You just… don't know what to do…

Not to worry! You might think otherwise, but there _is _hope!

This book will serve as a guide to ease you out of that vortex of confusion, bewilderment and never-ending doubt and questions. With this book, not only will you realize what your true feelings are for that certain black-haired demon friend of yours, you will also learn about the right steps to take, and the best choices to make in order to succeed in seducing your demon friend!

So relax, clear your mind, and get ready for the start of a life-changing journey!

* * *

><p><strong>~Shuuichi Minamino<strong>


	3. Step One: Just Say It!

**STEP ONE: Just Say It!**

**HEY, STOP!**

Don't close this book, run off to your demon friend, drop on your knees and confess your undying love for him!

Not just_ yet_!

First of all, if you do that now, he might kill you. Or hurt you beyond recognition. So. Just. No. Stay. Okay?

Good.

Still alive?

Excellent.

Okay, this step is both the easiest and the hardest to do. You've already made a very wise decision in purchasing this book, and you've taken quite a big leap in doing so, as well. So! Let's stay put for now and just continue reading this book because a big confession from you might mean a broken heart, or broken bones. Or both.

What I meant by "just say it!" is for you to admit your feelings. Confess to yourself that you love him. Say it, say it in your mind, or out loud, whichever floats your boat. Just make sure when you yell that he's out of earshot (as demons have very acute sense of hearing) or in _Makai_ (the demon world).

All clear? Go on, then.

**You love him!**

**You LOVE him!**

You love his silky black-with-starburst spiky hair, you love his ruby-red eyes, you love his lean and powerful body, you love his strong hands and those callused fingers, you love his ultra-deep, ultra-sexy voice, you love those pale, pinkish lips of his, _hell_, you even love that ghastly black cloak of his that hasn't been washed for weeks…

Done?

Now go ahead and cry. Or laugh. It's perfectly understandable to feel heightened emotions after screaming so much you thought you were going to faint. It might have taken you a lot of sleepless nights (and late-night binge eating) before coming to this conclusion but now you finally realize that you are indeed, in love with your demon friend. This is the biggest hurdle yet and you cleared it, so give yourself a pat on the back for doing a job well done!

Congratulations! You've successfully completed Step One. Are you ready for the next step?

Let's go!


	4. Step Two: Bring Out the Tease in You!

**STEP TWO: Bring Out the **_**Tease**_** in You!**

You did a great job on Step One! As we go along, you'll find that the steps get easier and more and more enjoyable so let's take our time and have some fun!

Now that you've cleared the hardest obstacle yet— it's time for a more proactive step! Enough with the crying and the sighing and the not-sleeping and the never-ending worries; you should now be adopting a cheerful and confident attitude because you _will _definitely need optimism and a _lot _of confidence in order for you to achieve your goal which is—yes, that's right, to **seduce **that elusive little _youkai _(demon)!

There are many ways to go about the whole "seduction" thing; but let me digress a little and let you in on a (rather well-known) secret— the first and most important fact that you should always remember is that **demons don't like sudden movements**. I'm sure you already know this, but it wouldn't hurt to remind you. Remember the first time the two of you met?

"_You ****ing move, I ****ing shove this ****ing sword up your tight ass****, pretty boy!"_

Kinky, wasn't he?

No.

He was totally serious about that sword and your ass. But what was up with that _"pretty boy" _bit, right? Anyway, now do you remember why you're still alive today?

That's right!

**It's because you didn't move.**

For you to succeed in this little "project" of ours (yes, please consider me your 'partner in crime'), you have to look to the past. That chance first meeting where he tried to kill you but you managed to survive; that time when you treated his wounds and he tried to kill you when he woke up; that other time when he _almost _killed you because you suddenly stood up from your desk while holding that rather sharp pencil (what did I say about sudden movements, hmm?) —in all of these incidents there is one obvious similarity: **you lived!**

You're unbelievably lucky (and let's not deny it, your beautiful face played a big part in those instances), and it _is_ always good to have luck on your side, but let me ask you this:

What is the one (and may in actual fact be the only) thing you need against that gloomy little _youkai_'s disinterest?

Go ahead, take a guess.

You're absolutely right!

It's your **mind**! You are highly intelligent, and very smart.

Since you've already conceded to your true feelings, the haze of confusion is fading, and your intelligent juices (among other juices) are now flowing. You probably wouldn't even need to read this book anymore to _cook up_ ways to make that poor demon friend fall for you but — because you're not only intelligent but _wise_— you'd want to listen to what _the best _has to say. After all, it is only common sense to use the brain you have and all that you can borrow, isn't it? Not to toot my own horn, but I _am _the authority on seduction techniques and I say to you, my fellow seducer, **use your brain! **It is your strongest asset and something that you should make full use of. I don't think I need to tell you any more than this about using your intellect, so let's get back to the actual topic before we veer off even further…

**Seduction.**

This term, so sexily rolling off the tongue, is connoted in the _ningen _(human) world negatively. It is commonly defined as_ the act of persuading somebody to have sex, or to do something wrong by means of using sexual or deceptive approach._ The word itself literally means "to lead astray" and that is why, in my opinion, the dictionary is wrong!

Seduction should be considered something wonderful because it _is._ It is the actual manifestation of one's desire towards another being. In addition, it creates excitement, passion and intensity to one's life and love. There's nothing else that screams "I don't think of you as _just a friend _anymore" than good-ol', tried-and-true seduction.

I think that's enough with the boring explanations. Let's move on to the how-tos! Well, there are a few things that you might need to change in order to cross that line between friendship and love (and to make your _youkai _see you _that way, _too) but the most obvious would have to be physical changes.

No, I'm not telling you to get plastic surgery— nothing as **major **or invasive as that. Just a few adjustments here and there and you'd have him looking at you rather curiously (more so than before) in no time. Of course, we welcome curiosity from little demons, do we not? Whenever they become curious about something, they try to get closer to whatever it is that's caught their attention. And that, my friend, is one step towards success!

Here are a few pointers to start off with:

**Be confident. **Like I said earlier, confidence is very much needed to be able to deal with that _youkai _friend of yours' intimidating personality. Don't forget that although he's your best friend, that gorgeous fella is _still _a demon. He is **not** human. The guy _literally _grew up and lived in hell, so his antagonistic attitude should be expected. You have to be able to stand your ground and command respect, and to do that you have to, of course, **give **respect. You've managed to become friends with him, a _youkai_, so you should have already gained his trust and respect by now. If not, well… perhaps it would do you well to first read _"How to __**Not**__ Get Killed by a Demon 101"_?

Good luck. You'll need it.

**Be who you are. **To become better than you are, you have to be yourself. There's nothing wrong about changing your personality for the better but if you're not comfortable about it and you feel that you're not being honest to yourself and to the one you love, then don't force yourself to do it. It would be disappointing not only to him but to you as well if he became attracted to the person you were pretending to be. So don't play-act another personality if it isn't yours. Be honest.

**Be clean. **I don't think I need to explain this. Take a bath _at least _once a day— demons have very keen senses, they could smell a dirty underwear half-a-mile away—so make sure you change into fresh ones daily. You might be one of the most beautiful creatures he'd ever seen in the two worlds, but if your nether regions smell like fermented pig cadaver, I doubt he (or anyone else) would touch you with a 10-foot pole.

Brush those pearly whites after eating, and floss_ at least _once every day_. _You could forget about the brushing, but **do not **skip on flossing your teeth. Actually, don't forget about the brushing. It's important, too. But flossing, more so. Ask your dentist if you don't believe me.

There's nothing more appealing (especially to a _youkai_) than a clean and fresh, almost-good-enough-to-eat scent. Make sure your body always gives this off. And since we're already on the subject, it would also be to your advantage to spritz a tiny amount of cologne on the back of your ears and on your wrists a few hours before he comes knocking through your window; this will make the fragrance mingle with your natural scent instead of overpowering it. I recommend choosing delicate fragrances; nothing girly or heady— one thing you could use is baby cologne—no alcohol, mild and relaxing scent, with a subtle hint of natural flowers like freesia, cotton blossoms, or rose: **perfect. **

If this doesn't make your _youkai _get closer to you than his normal _you-might-do-something-that-you-might-regret-so-I'm-doing-both-of-us-a-favor _distance, then I don't know what will.

**Be stylish. **Choose clothes that offer both comfort and fashion_. _Look for apparels that you would normally put on, but choose styles that are either smoother, silkier, just a little teeny bit flimsier, and hugs-your-body-when-caught-by-the-wind looser. Put a lot of emphasis to this particular pointer because changing the clothes you wear may seem inconsequential at best, but it is actually one of the most effective ways to make him notice a part of you that a normal friend wouldn't— **your body**. It's about time to show that slender figure of yours!

More on clothes later (or lack thereof).

**Be haptic. **Our sense of touch is pretty darn amazing as it is, so imagine a _youkai's, _who are estimated to be five to five hundred thousand (depending on a particular youkai's strength) times stronger and with far more developed senses than a common _ningen_! You have **got **to use this information to your advantage, but let me caution you about the dangers, too. From personal experience, I could tell you that it would take a lot of failed attempts before you can _actually _go ahead and touch him **safely.** So don't be afraid to take a chance, but don't be scared to back down, either, if you think putting your hand on his shoulder might be a gamble (to your limbs). Try to play the first few times off like accidents. Maybe you offer him a drink or something and your fingers _"accidentally" _brush each other's; you could also ask him if he could show you his _katana_ (I'm talking about his sword, the metal one!) , or pretend there's a leaf stuck in his hair. There are a lot of situations that would allow for furtive touching, but you have to be cognizant to the right timing, because demons, particularly the aloof ones, are hypersensitive to being touched. You have to get them used to it slowly and patiently, and in time, not only would he **not **care about your shoulders touching when you're sitting close to him, he might **actually **let you give him a back rub or those sports massages you so conveniently learned somewhere.

Just remember, patience is key, you do this right, and the rewards will be** plenty.**

**Be a conversationalist. **This is pretty tricky if your friend lacks basic social and conversational skills, or more likely, he just... chooses not to talk. It's hardly surprising, however; he grew up in _Makai _after all_, _where most inhabitants live solitary (and very dangerous) lives. He probably grew up alone, made it on his own through life and never needed nor asked for any help or companionship from anyone before, so be ready for a lot of monologues before you could hear him talk about what his favorite color is (black... it's always black).

I have devised a strategy that might speed up the wait, though. This will **definitely** make him talk, alright. But but but but but! **Only try this **when you've passed the _"accidental touching" _stage and he tolerates your **intentional **touches. This strategy is, uh... let's just say it's not 100% safe...

Here's what you'd have to do:

**Force **him to talk.

How?

By instigating a debate of sorts. Think of a topic the two of you don't generally agree about, something which you know he has a different point of view in, and start the conversation that way. He **will **talk, and give you a piece of his mind, alright, a little bluntly put to words, but hey, at least he's talking, right? While having these kind of conversations, it should be a given that you respect his opinion in whatever matter the two of you are talking about, but never stoop down and change sides just because things are getting a little heated. This creates tension, and tension creates fire, and fire creates death.

Yes, I'm only joking. Relax!

By this time, the two of you should now be close enough to be called friends, and arguments between friends often happen so it's inevitable for things to get a little heated (yes, yes I know you **want **things to heat up, but that's not exactly what I'm trying to say here so please stop your fantasies for a bit). These sorts of dialogues are important because when you speak whatever's on your mind (in carefully chosen words, of course), it tells him that you 1) are a confident person 2) are not afraid of him even though his kind is considered by most humans as horrible and evil creatures 3) trust him enough to expect that he will _not _hurt you 4) are smart and that he is lucky to have such unbelievably beautiful, intelligent, clean-smelling, stylish, sexy, confident, knowledgeable, strong, kind, smooth-skinned...

Where was I?

Oh. Forget it. You know what I'm talking about.

**Be tantalizing. **"_Beautiful eyes make silence eloquent". _Express your deep and fiery desire for him through those emerald greens. When you talk to him, look straight and deep in his eyes and _subtly _convey your feelings through your gaze. Give him the best **"sexy" **eyes you could come up with. Read on for more details about seducing through eye contact.

Oh, right, please do **not **stare at him. Demons do **not **like to be stared at; they usually take it as a sign of challenge, especially if that same person has a smile on his face. Oooh, that would really get you in some deep, pardon my language, **shit. ** So, for your sake, don't ogle and grin like an idiot.

Smiling is an art in itself and should **never, ever **be done in excess. A delicate and mysterious smile playing on one's lips from time to time would absolutely have much more of an impact than, say, having a grin plastered to your face the whole time he's around (_really? you're really happy to see him? Why, I can't tell at all!)_. Saving that graceful smile for the best moments would not only make it (and you) infinitely _**sexier, **_he would actually be looking forward to seeing you do it. And _shh... _this is only between the two of us, but whenever he does that thing that would **always **make you smile, and he acts like he's not doing it on purpose? He so _totally **is **_doing it intentionally, just. for. you.

Okay, before I forget, let's go back to the eyes.

Looking him straight in the eye shows him that you are confident and trust-worthy. Despite your feminine looks, you know who you are and what you want, and if you _really _want it, you **will **get it. That's why he's always dropping by your room. He likes that air of quiet confidence around you, among many other things.

(I do apologize for always veering of the subject, I just get very excited sometimes that I forget about the original topic, perhaps I should "talk" less formally on the next chapter? Anyway, let us go back to eye contact.)

Looking at each other's eyes narrows the gap between the two of you. It creates closeness and a whole new level of communication only the two of you could participate in. In essence, the two of you are "talking" in another form; an almost telepathic language, if you will. When the time comes for you to confess about your feelings for him, you can trust that your eyes will help you, and quite a lot, too. I don't need to teach you about it, it'll just happen.

And again, I am in the verge of changing subjects. Forgive me.

Let's move on to **batting, **shall we?

No no, not baseball. I meant your eyelashes._ Batting your eyelashes_ is like, the universal sign for flirting. I know, I know. You're thinking this _"batting the eyelashes" _thing might be a little too girly (even for you), right?

No worries.

There's another, less innocent, more sultry version of it that may just suit your personality to a "T".

It's the "_downward batting" _technique.

What in the hell is it, you ask?

Well, It's a very simple, very effective variation of eyelash-batting!

Here's how you do it: Just tilt your head down as if you're reading a book (or…you know, _actually _read a book, maybe?), make sure your neck is at an angle either to your left or to your right to create a sexier vibe, stay that way for a bit, look up with your eyes, and give him a little smile. If you're feeling mischievous, why not lick your lips, for good measure?

**SEXY.**

Let me put it this way, if your friend doesn't _stiffen up, _then I'm sorry, but he's probably a _eunuch. _

I think we've just about covered all the major pointers. They're pretty common sense, aren't they? And quite easy and fun to do, too.

So what are you waiting for? Go ahead and try them now!

…

How did it go?

Good?

NICE!

Congratulations!

Alright, I won't keep you in suspense. Let's go on to the next step!


End file.
